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ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK VOICEOVER:

Welcome to This Being Human. I’m your host Abdul-Rehman Malik. On this podcast, I talk to extraordinary people from all over the world whose life, ideas and art are shaped by Muslim culture.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

I’m surrounded by white people and like am I just listening to white music? But in a way, it wasn’t even a thing until 9/11.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK VOICEOVER:

Today, Muslim punks, Pakistani surf music and mental health.

 

[THE KOMINAS – “DISCO UNCLE”]

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK VOICEOVER:

I knew about Shahjehan Khan through his band The Kominas. Their music was a force at once disruptive and constructive – tearing things down and building them up at the same time.  It’s a dance-y blend of punk rock, surf music and classic South Asian vibes.

 

Their songs are full of irreverence, using humour, irony and absurdity, drawing on their experiences of being brown and Muslim in America. Like “Disco Uncle,” which you’re hearing now.

 

And The Kominas weren’t alone. They were part of a bigger moment in punk that was captured first in the novel, then a feature documentary, titled The Taqwacores.

 

Shahjehan is now approaching 40. He still plays music, occasionally with the Kominas. But now he spends more time as an actor and helping to run Rifelion Media, a company working to proliferate diverse stories.

 

He hosted their award-winning podcast, King of the World, an unflinching look at his past, exploring his journey through addiction, creativity, and living as a Muslim in America after 9/11.

 

Our conversation took us to surprising places. It ended up largely being about mental health, purpose, and how music can help us find ourselves.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

Shahjehan Khan, Welcome to This Being Human.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Thank you so much for having me. It’s really awesome to be here.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

Shahjehan as a music head, I got to ask you, what’s playing on the turntable this week?

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

I don’t actually own a turntable. But if you mean my- I’m kind of- I mean I have CDs that are in the car. It’s funny being in recovery and stuff, you know, I’ve been sober and everything now for about 12 years. The very, very first time I ever went to treatment, I was 19, 18 or 19, I think. Definitely not ready to take it all on. But I met this kid who actually grew up in my town and his name- he went by Oliver in the band. I won’t say his real name, but the band was called Ms. Pigeon, Ms. Pigeon. And they were like local, kind of like garage rock legends in Boston. And then I, you know, I lost touch with him. The band like kind of fell apart and stuff. And every few years I would think about him a lot. At some point last year, I found these albums of theirs online.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

That’s awesome.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

So I got these physical CDs from this like random dude on eBay. So that’s actually been in regular rotation in my car, these three albums.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

It’s fascinating in a way, like our own sort of journeys right? Into the music that eventually kind of move us, influence us, shape our lives. But there’s one kind of music that I know you’ve been like pretty obsessed with. And I have to say, it’s the kind of music that would be the farthest thing from my mind when associating it with Pakistaniness. And that’s surf music. Surf music is probably the farthest thing in my mind-

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

It’s funny you say that-

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

From Pakistan and being Pakistani, but I know you know differently.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Yeah. So actually, in the- this was a- we were hoping to do a podcast this year about the psychedelic surf rock scene in Pakistan in the ’60s and ’70s.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

That’s wild Shahjehan.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Yeah so there were these bands of like now uncles who had band names like the Panthers, the Mods, the AJs, and they were like into just like groovy psychedelic rock. And it was a very small scene of bands. And you know, some of them in the early periods of Pakistani music, like when EMI was the label was first created. But yeah, and we basically, myself and my bandmates in Kominas, quote-unquote discovered this music when some white dude wrote about it in like some hipster blogger label that he started, this guy Stuart. And, you know, then we were like, oh my god, this is so cool. And then, like, we told our parents and they were like, yeah, we remember these bands, man. But they weren’t like the mainstream, filmy necessarily music. Like these were bands that were just kind of making kind of like weirder stuff, you know? So that, yeah, that definitely existed. And also like, yeah, Pakistani culture is all about like music and film and, you know.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

Where was this music being played? Is this like, were there like-

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

In Karachi.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

Was there like surfing in Karachi?

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Yeah, a handful of bars and nightclubs in Karachi. And it’s interesting because this is something I was hoping to explore in the show. Essentially, I couldn’t get any of these uncles to talk to me. Like there was one of them, a really good dear friend of mine, Ahsan Sajjad, from the band, The Panthers, has always been down to do stuff, and he was the first one that did a couple of interviews. I tried to talk to a couple of other guys and, you know, they’re just a little older and they’re just not, you know, some of them aren’t doing too great healthwise and stuff. And so we decided that we couldn’t continue with the show. But yeah, it was basically just kind of like a group of kids, like doing music and playing parties with their friends. Some of them got signed, some of them released a couple of records, and another big thing is a lot of them came from the Christian community in Pakistan. Like that’s something that maybe they don’t get a lot of credit for is that like Pakistan is obviously like a predominantly Muslim country and stuff. But the vast majority of- I mean, like the working class musicians are from the Christian community there.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

I’m sure you know this, Shahjehan. But, you know, like surf music in the United States has this amazing connection to Lebanese Americans, right?

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Yeah, of course. Dick Dale.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

Dick Dale. And it’s one of these almost like if, you know, you know, or if you’ve investigated, you kind of have a sense of it. But most people don’t realize that the entire, you know, kind of genre oeuvre of surf music owes itself to these Lebanese American musicians, particularly Dick Dale. And all of these amazing instrumental riffs that are basically takes on like Egyptian, Lebanese-

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Yeah “Misirlou.”

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

And yeah Syrian music, which I think is so interesting.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

I didn’t even know that when I was living in Pakistan in 2008, doing music and different stuff. I think I covered- we cover some of that in the show as well. My introduction to my radio show was “Misirlou” like, that’s what I would do. And in my head I was like, oh, this is the Pulp Fiction music. But I didn’t even know that at the time.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

What were you doing in Pakistan, Shahjehan, in 2008?

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Yeah. So in 2008 we had- the Kominas started 2004, 2005, we had released one record. My bandmate Basim had graduated. He had gotten a job at Dawn News in Pakistan. I had dropped out of school. I was really like not doing great, you know, just kind of like by that point I had experimented a little bit with sobriety and stuff and I was a super problematic cannabis user. And I just say that because I think I always try to say that part because I’m not one of these people that like got sober and is like everybody has- you know what I mean? But for me personally, like cannabis was a huge, huge problem. And so in 2008, Basim basically was like, hey, man, why don’t you just move to Pakistan? Like, you know, by virtue of the fact that you speak English, you can probably easily get a job. Just come live with me and, you know. And I was like, yeah, man, what the hell else am I doing? So I moved there. And yeah. I’ve understood later that like what I was doing was I was trying to build a relationship with this place that was a part- that was like my own thing. You know, there’s some- this post, whatever post-9/11 just growing up thing where you kind of want to go to a place where you technically are from, you know. And see if you can just live there. And it was a crazy time for the band because like we got all this attention all of a sudden. You know, “oh the Muslim punk band in the US” and, you know, all this clash of civilizations, you know, thing. And a lot of it was through the lens of like white journalism. Basically, we got not like super famous, but we got like kind of indie somewhat famous. For them too, we were like doing Punjabi punk rock music there, you know. And so I’ve learned later that like we’ve kind of left a bit of a legacy, which I’m super proud of there. It’s what you want when you like start an indie band that like, yeah, maybe not everybody knows you like you’re not some big star or whatever, but like the cool kids seem to know you.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

Was it like coming home?

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

For the first couple of months-

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

Like you, I’m in this Pakistani diaspora, right? And then there’s that one trip where, you know, you go back and see family and relatives. But then there’s that trip. Like your trip where you go back.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Right. There’s the trip where you’re like, oh, people, people party here. Like ohh.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

Yeah and there’s stuff going on.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Yeah.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

It’s more than just family, but there’s this deep and rich culture that all of a sudden you kind of dip your foot into or jump into. And you’re like, okay, this is a different kind of Pakistan. How do I relate to it? Did you find that, oh, you’d arrived at a place that you could call home or a home?

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Initially, yes. But I think that is for me at least, was sort of a veneer of like I’ll just magically transport myself to a place that I sort of belong to and everything will be fine. I’ll fit right in. And that’s not the case. Like after those first couple of months, like living there is really hard man. Like even being the extremely privileged people that we were. You know, we didn’t- we were like in the upper whatever, you know, percentages – we had a place to live and like we had family that we could always turn to. And, you know, just the day-to-day struggles of like living in Pakistan is really hard, you know? We make jokes like I’m used to like standing in line and like the line going forward, you know, without like a million people, like getting in my way. But also to some more serious stuff of like, yeah, maybe the price of – I mean, again, this is 2023 America, so maybe this isn’t too far-fetched – but literally the price of bread and stuff is changing day to day. There’s just all these things going on and it’s not safe. I’m not saying I couldn’t get robbed at gunpoint in, you know, any city in America. Like that happened in Lahore during Ramadan. And it was kind of my fault. Like I was going out for a walk during sehri time and I had like cargo shorts on and I was literally like, just walking. And it’s like, whatever. I just- I kind of looked like-

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

You basically looked like a firangi didn’t you?

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Yeah, exactly. So it’s later in life that I’ve understood how important that was for me. But at the time, it was a very, very difficult spot.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

What was a breakout moment? I’ve been trying to think about it because I followed your work and the work of The Kominas, because there was something so disruptive and exciting and wacky about it. And also in some ways, like to me there was something familiar too because there’s so much in our own musical histories, traditions and civilizations that is disruptive. And it it felt like The Kominas were like the next iteration of that, like disruptive, cultural force. When did you realize that, oh, I think we’re onto something here, something is going on around us.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Somewhat quickly, I think. There used to be this website called Muslim WakeUp.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

I remember it.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Our buddy Mike, Mike Knight. He wrote an article about us.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK VOICEOVER:

Shahjehan’s buddy Mike, by the way, is the writer Michael Mohammad Knight. His novel The Taqwacores depicts a fictional Muslim punk scene. It was an influential book and was later developed into a documentary about real Muslim punk bands, including The Kominas.

 

But back to Muslim WakeUp. The article was controversial, but it helped launch the Kominas to a much larger audience. Some of the stuff Mike wrote about upset people in the community – including Shahjehan’s parents. Yet there was also something enticing about it. A sense of danger, right down to the photo.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

And it was the first time that, you know, like me and Basim took like a quote unquote press photo, just like standing next to a dumpster at UMass Lowell. I was holding like a rolled cigarette and I was wearing- I remember this very vividly. I was- Basim had- I think his arm was broken. He had his leather jacket. I was wearing like a Gap sweatshirt that I had since high school.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

It’s for me Shahjehan and it’s actually really super cool to hear you kind of describe this from inside-out because I remember reading that article in Muslim WakeUp and clocking oooh what’s going on here and why does this feel different and fresh and, you know, disruptive? And I want to see where this goes. And I remember, you know, around the same time, the author who you’ve mentioned already, Michael Muhammad Knight writing the novel Taqwacores which-

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Right.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

Initially, of course, was distributed as a photocopied spiral bound-

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

And that’s basically what brought- that was right before we started the band. When Basim and I ran into each other at college, he gave me the book and he was like, you need to read this.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

That’s so interesting.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

So I still- it’s funny, I just reread a little bit of it at my parents place a couple of weeks ago because they still have that copy. My dad is a huge fan of Mike and stuff now and they’ve met and they’ve, you know, Mike is still a very, very dear friend of mine.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

I want to get to that in a second because I remember picking up a copy probably from him or one of his few acolytes at a large Islamic convention, you know, sometime in the ’90s. And I, too, have that spiral bound copy of-

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Oh you have the spiral. I don’t have the spiral one. That’s amazing.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

I got the spiral bound copy.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

I just have the first soft skull press or whatever-

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

No, I got the spiral bound copy.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

That’s amazing.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

And in my mind I’m like, I don’t even know how I got this. But, in a way, it’s a question that I’ve always wanted to ask. You know, it’s what came first, the chicken or the egg? What came first, the band or the book? Because the two things seem to be happening at almost the same time. And there were moments where I’d be reading Taqwacores, and I’d be listening to your tunes. And I’m like-

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Yeah, it was a little weird. Honestly.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

What came first?

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Literally the book came first, but we sort of. I mean, Basim and I knew each other when we were 15 and it’s like… Yeah, the book definitely inspired him and I to make, you know, the band for sure. And then these two things were sort of concurrently happening. But that’s sort of also where things kind of got a little bit weird and wild and you know looking back on it it’s like, it’s so cool that so many people related to stuff and that it still played like a really important part of their lives of just… Every time I’m asked about it, it would be wrong of me not to also mention just the- and again, every band is like, “yo I hate when they label us, you know what I mean?” Like, that’s not anything that’s just like for us but like in this specific instance, like it was.. it became weird and complicated very quickly because it was kind of like anytime you’re like part of something that’s bigger than you and, you know, people look to you for certain things, like things can get weird and out of control.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

You know, the Taqwacores documentary, which you’ve talked about, was also kind of a really important, you know, cultural phenomenon, right? People are watching this all over the world. And I’m sure there were folks certainly right, from Indonesia to Morocco, from Britain to South Africa, who were then jumping into their, you know, their own version of the garage and taking out their instruments and trying to be Muslim punk, trying to be Taqwacore.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Or in some cases even saying that we were sellouts, like, I’ll never forget this one time we got a copy of a zine from Indonesia where like there’s a scene of actual like real Muslim punks who thought we were a bunch of sellouts. And the cover was a- there’s a sort of a somewhat well-known photo of me, a friend of mine handing me a burrito and I’m like holding a guitar without a shirt on. And in that zine, the burrito hand was replaced with a fist. It was like a punch to my face because I’m not a real Muslim punk, which I thought was awesome.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

That is pretty awesome. I mean you’ve talked about this uneasiness about being associated with a so-called movement. Looking back on it-

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

I’m okay with it now, but now actually, honestly, after the podcast, like not to be whatever about it, but like, that was a really cool exercise.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK VOICEOVER:

He’s talking about his autobiographical podcast, King of the World.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

You know, I’ve been through lots of different forms of recovery and I’ve written out steps and 12 steps and things like that. For me, that whole experience and actually kind of like putting it all down and like narrating and, you know, sitting for hours in my closet booth and narrating the story of my life finally sort of put a lot of these pieces together where now I feel much more like, hey, it’s cool. This is just like one facet of who I was.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

I want to jump into your podcast in a moment.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Yeah, yeah.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

It’s- by the way, it’s magnificent.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Thank you.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

But I got to ask about your dad. Your dad was critical of you when that first article came out-

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

My dad is my biggest fan.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

That’s what I was going to ask.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

He’s the star of one of our music videos.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

Disco Uncle.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Yeah.

 

[THE KOMINAS – “DISCO UNCLE”]

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

So in the video, like, you know, the premise is that we’re like these, like punks. Our car broke down and disco uncle comes to save the day and take us to a punk gig. And he’s running around. So we filmed it in Providence, the streets of Providence-

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

Very cool.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Where he’s spray painting graffiti. He’s like putting on a cool studded rocker jacket, and he ends up at this punk show and that’s like the- it’s actually really special. And it’s, my dad isn’t, his health isn’t that great these days. So I’m really lucky that I’ve had those kinds of moments with him. And one of my favorite things ever in that video is like the two of us are sort of in a studio and we’re basically arguing and that was a day after the shoot. It was like a pickup shoot that we did in Boston, just me and him. And yeah, we just had fun, you know?

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

Oh, that sounds like a beautiful story.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

My dad is kind of a punk man. He’s like, he’s not like. Yeah, he hangs out in these like some elite circles, he’s an engineer. But like I always tell the story. One time he was bored with a conversation that was going on at some party. So he just like whipped out a book of poetry and started reading Faiz, Ahmad Faiz in the middle of some like some like high school graduation party or something where he just like, you know, I’m sick of talking to these people. So what’s more punk than that?

 

[THE KOMINAS – “DISCO UNCLE”]

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

You know, your podcast is titled King of the World, and I love the title because it’s the translation of your name, Shahjehan. And it follows your experiences of being an American Muslim and post-9/11. And it goes into… You know, all these facets of your life. And as you’ve already talked about very honestly, a big part of the podcast is about your struggles with mental health and addiction. And Shahjehan, there’s just moments in King of the World that are just so raw and honest and unvarnished and straight why did you choose to tell your story in that raw, unvarnished way. And why did you choose to tell it like this?

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

I can’t take credit for that. It was actually the CEO of Rifelion Media, Asad Butt. We grew up together here in Boston. We had sort of loosely stayed in touch after high school and stuff and kind of watched each other from afar kind of thing, like he was in journalism. And then he went into VC and that kind of thing, and he was always interested in my band and stuff like that. And he had started a different kind of interview based show, sort of like yours, to sort of get the ball rolling, get back into production type stuff. And he was like, I want to- it’s the 20th anniversary of 9/11 is coming up. I want to do something, in his mind, a little more journalistic focused, and that was his plan and maybe just have me host a show or whatever. I think we sat together. He was like, maybe let’s make a Google doc, a spreadsheet of just everything that happened in your life, you know, 2001 through 2021. And I’m just putting down stuff. And he’s like… This all happened to you? Like, this is pretty interesting. So we- as we kinda, we didn’t know what we were doing, like neither of us had made a narrative series before. But to me, like, the more and more I started writing, I was comfortable in a storytelling fashion, honestly, because of probably because of recovery and like I did do AA and NA and those things. And so I was very used to like telling my story to people, even going into treatment centers, but I had never like put it all out there in that way. So I think as we were going, it just occurred to me that like I mean, the only way this is going to work is if I just say everything. You know, there’s some stuff that I wasn’t 100% sure about at first. Like there’s a part where I read like, so I requested some of my hospitalization records, you know, stuff that I had sort of logically was like, yeah, yeah, I’ll do this. And then when I got into it, it was actually really tough. And you can probably hear it in my voice or whatever. And honestly, after the thing was done, like there was a bit of like, whoa, I just like really did that, you know?

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

There’s been so many sort of, you know, post-9/11 type narrative works, books…

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

There have. And I knew that there would be. And that was definitely something we were cognizant of. But also just like, it’s also this whole thing of like representation in the media and stuff like. We are at that point where, when for example, Kominas, was starting, maybe we’re the only brown punk band you know. And you’re just like, oh, this is so cool because it’s the first one and it’s just that like something to latch onto. Now there is a lot of stuff so you don’t have to like, like everything that comes out, you know? Or just because it’s a Muslim thing or a brown thing. There’s enough of a selection, but we’re all at Rifelion also firm believers in the like we just need to make more stuff. You know?

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

I totally agree with you Shahjehan. Yeah, and, you know, like, I think the cynic that says, “Oh these stories are derivative.” But frankly the post-9/11 period for folks who are brown-

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

It’s like the most important event in our lives you know like it’s not-

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

Absolutely.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Yeah.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

And I think there’s as many stories as there are people. And there’s as many traumas and challenges as there are stories.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Yeah.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

And I found it really ironic that the producers of the 2021 sleeper hit Don’t Look Up cast you to play a Homeland security official. Did they do that knowing that you had been working on this super dope podcast.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

No, they had no idea who I was.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

How did that feel? Was it a little uncomfortable to be kind of playing the part, wearing the costume?

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Honestly, no man. I just was there to, like, see if I could be in a movie. I mean, it was a dark comedy. So I think it was poking fun at everything. And, you know, but it’s funny that you say that. One of my bandmates’ cousins, she once- she texted me on Instagram and she was like, it’s weird to see you playing like a whatever TSA agent or, you know, Homeland Security person. And I’m like, yeah, it’s a movie.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

But I think there’s something. The fact that she noted it, right?

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

It’s like role reversal, right? We find ourselves.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

Even in play, right? On the other side of that, there’s this kind of… Oh there is. And I imagine like, inside, you’re kind of thinking, oh, wow what’s going on in the mind of someone like this given my own experiences with folks like this.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Yeah. And I’m not going to say it’s not something I wasn’t thinking about. You know, again, this was my first sort of big role as like what’s called a featured extra. So you’re not supposed to say anything unless they ask you to like improv or something. So I’m just in there in this room. Granted, you know, I’ve never been on like a really big film like that. And in front of me is Leonardo DiCaprio, Meryl Streep and all these people. I’m just trying not to like be an idiot. Adam McKay is a very like chill kind of director, and it was a great masterclass in, you know. And it served me so in the last year, now you will be seeing me saying things a lot in stuff. You know, I’ve now been an actor, I would say like for about eight years. So I’ve done some theater and stuff and mostly some like smaller indie things. But in the last year and a half I’ve done some pretty exciting things.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

The podcast, as you said, required you to be open about your deepest struggles and the darkest points of your life. And I’m thinking to myself, you know, at the end of that, as you come out of that, and it was, you know, the podcast was multi-awarded and heavily cited and people really talked about how amazing and great it was, and rightfully and rightfully so. But for you, as Shahjehan Khan, did you feel like it brought you closer to some people and some things that you had maybe been a little bit distant from? Like where do you come out at the end of that?

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

It came out at the like sort of the tail end of my thirties at a time when I think lots of people maybe are reevaluating themselves and their priorities and stuff. It gave me like a sense of real like pride in my own resilience in a way, you know? And it definitely helped me realign like just what really matters, what are the things that I want. And yeah, like I’m pursuing other things pretty heavily and like, things are going really well, but like… when you’re in a band and that’s like your main drive and that’s all you’re doing, in a band like ours, you get to like, travel all over the world. You get to meet all sorts of amazing people. But in the back of your mind, you’re kind of like trying to get to the next thing. Like, what’s the next level, you know? I didn’t pay close attention to the important relationships in my life as much as I ought to have. And in conjunction with all these, like mental health struggles too, where you kind of like, it’s almost like two extremes where you’re like… on the one hand when you’re good, like you’re totally driven and you’re just like full steam ahead. And then you’re sort of like, you feel like a complete fraud and you don’t wanna do anything. It is a very selfish way of living, I think. But really like these days, I just want to be with quality friends and people and just like. It’s just really important to me. Maybe in a way that it wasn’t before where it was a little bit more just about like me and like my own, what am I going to be and what am I going to mean coming from the legacy of my family, coming from all these things.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK VOICEOVER:

Shahjehan is one of those guys who has his hand in so many things, I wondered what exactly was driving him. There are three things he’s excited about. One: his company, Rifelion Media is about to grow due to a major investment.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

We’re actually going to be putting out a call for scripts loosely based on Ramadan, like from new writers and new directors, to kind of give people a shot at stuff. So that’s really exciting.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK VOICEOVER:

Two: his acting career is picking up steam. He had the opportunity to be on the latest season of one of his favourite TV shows – and frankly one of my favourite TV shows – Succession

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

I got to spend a week on that set and hang out and it was like a dream come true. I also just on April 6th, I had my first TV premiere, as in this Lifetime movie murder mystery, which was actually really awesome.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK VOICEOVER:

And no surprise here, number three is music. He has tours coming up with The Kominas and others.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

For me, like if I’m not playing music live, something, some part of me is missing. And that’s something that I realized, you know, after the podcast. I’m super excited and so grateful to be here, you know, at 40 when, you know, things can get boring for some people. I don’t know. I still do struggle a lot with depression and things, you know. But like, I realized that for me, I just, I’m not a very balanced person and that’s okay.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

Shahjehan, tell me about a joy or a meanness that recently came to you as an unexpected visitor.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Family vacation. Recently, we took to visit my younger sister in Salt Lake City. We were hiking and I got to carry my one-year-old nephew on one of those little backpack things. And for like an hour. And I’m his favourite. Like, I don’t care what anybody says, but yeah, just his laughter, you know, just the silliness and, you know, the laughter of a child.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

That’s beautiful.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

What’s more joyful than that?

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

Shahjehan Khan, this has been a real pleasure. It’s so wonderful to spend this time with you.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

Thank you so much.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK:

Thank you for being on This Being Human.

 

SHAHJEHAN KHAN:

The pleasure is all mine.

 

ABDUL-REHMAN MALIK VOICEOVER:

Thank you for listening to This Being Human. You can look in the show notes for some links to Shahjehan’s work and some of the other things we discussed today.

 

This Being Human is produced by Antica Productions in partnership with TVO. Our senior producer is Kevin Sexton. Our associate producer is Hailey Choi. Our executive producer is Laura Regehr. Stuart Coxe is the president of Antica Productions.

 

Mixing and sound design by Phil Wilson. Our associate audio editor is Cameron McIver. Original music by Boombox Sound.

 

Shaghayegh Tajvidi is TVO’s Managing Editor of Digital Video and Podcasts. Laurie Few is the executive for digital at TVO.

 

This Being Human is generously supported by the Aga Khan Museum. Through the arts, the Aga Khan Museum sparks wonder, curiosity, and understanding of Muslim cultures and their connection with other cultures.

 

The Museum wishes to thank The Hilary and Galen Weston Foundation for their generous support of This Being Human.